Weakness Leaving the Body

Alright alright, I'm a wimp.

I don't like getting hurt, it's really just that simple. I do an extremely low-impact workout. I blow on my tea before sipping. I collect novelty band-aids because everybody knows a cut heals faster when it's covered by Optimus Prime.

However, after the disaster that was last week's game and my new-found resolution that I'm not a quitter, I decided to really try to be aggressive at this whole volleyball thing. About twenty minutes into the first match and I said, "Wow, this hurts."

"Embrace the pain!" the guys laughed, obviously amused that I was suffering over something kind of pathetic.

Okay, I thought. Embrace the pain. I can do that. I'm not a quitter. RAWR!

I embraced that pain and I went after that ball. Except, you guys, I'm really not that great at depth perception. That's why I do hair: it's all close to me and I don't have to guess trajectories and speeds and spins on the fly. So pretty soon, I got hit in the face by a supersonic volleyball.

HOLD THE PHONE!

Um, I did not sign up for this. I had a little moment in my head that went something like this: Waaaahhhhhhh!!!  I had really thought my days of getting bludgeoned by sports equipment were long over. Not so!

I collected myself and carried on. Despite a sudden headache, I was still embracing pain. I think it was actually my ornery streak coming out and saying, haha everybody expects me to fall apart so I'm NOT just to spite them. That's kind of silly because nobody really expected me to fall apart, but sometimes I just gotta draw strength from wherever I can.

After the last match we ran some "terror drills" which were basically comprised of Isaac reigning big scary serves at me and Miriam so that we could conquer our fear.

"Pretend the volleyball is Aveda!" Mom called from the sidelines.

That's when I got serious, y'all.

Now it's the morning after.

MY ARMS HURT.

Embrace the pain, my foot! This is not okay! :(

My favourite lyric is *instrumental*

Migraines and the Grace of God

I used to get really awful migraines.

I would get them regularly every month, but even beyond that they would pop up at random times. If you've never had a migraine, you can't understand how truly crippling they are. I can't really even describe what it feels like. The layers of agony, the dulled brain function but the absolutely crystal-clear pain receptors... it's no fun.

We went to the doctors and they went so far as to do an MRI on my brain to make sure I didn't have any tumors or abnormalities. Nope, my brain is fine, just a hereditary propensity for migraines. My grandmother, mom, and uncle all had migraines. I gave up hope for a cure and settled in for decades of discomfort.

Switch gears. As my senior year of high school ground to a close, I began to experience rather disconcerting chest pain, increased heart rate, and shortness of breath. Anytime I climbed stairs or lifted something heavy, my heartrate seemed to shoot through the roof. At one point, I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. I'm too young for this, I thought. I'm eighteen. Why am I having heart problems? I was actually pretty upset at God for making me feel like an old woman.


To the doctors I went. They poked and prodded and drew blood and listened and monitored and gelled and listened some more. I had a sonogram of my heart, I wore a heart monitor several times, I took a stress test. Finally, after some uncertainty, a brusk Indian man at the cardiology center in Cary informed me that I have inappropriate sinus tachycardia, which is much more pesky than lethal. He prescribed me beta blockers and disappeared.

Flash forward six months. I was feeling pretty good -- sleeping better, heartrate much more controlled, just generally wholesome. I went in for a routine check-up to my cardiologist and she upped my dosage of beta blockers. I decided to do some more research on these little white pills. What was one of the FIRST things I discovered?

Beta blockers are often used to prevent migraines.

WHAT!

To my shock, I realized that I hadn't had a migraine in six months. I hadn't even gotten a headache. Before, I had almost always had a low-grade pain in between migraines, and life felt like one long headache-fest. BUT NOW! No pain! No migraines! I had to laugh at myself. I was so irked at God for giving me this heart condition, but it turned out that my heart medication is a double blessing! More than double, because anybody who has had a migraine can tell you that it's no way to live.

I still get headaches sometimes. I even get what I call "half migraines," but they're just a shadow of the real thing. And I don't really mind. I think it's God's way of whispering, Remember what I saved you from. 


My go-to headache soother...