Or, Why I’m Fed Up With the Bikini
Question
This blog post has been percolating in my subconscious for
several years, and the summer solstice brought it to the forefront. I’m not
going to tackle “The Bikini Question” head-on, but rather examine some aspects
of modesty that aren’t talked about as much. In many ways this is a letter to
my younger self, who wondered and worried about this so much.
Presented in numerical form, since lists are one of my
favourite things.
1) One-piece bathing suits are inherently more modest than
bikinis
In this video, Jessica Rey talks about the evolution of the
swimsuit, noting that its inception was a “bathing costume” of many layers that
was accompanied by a small hut on wheels that allowed women to enter the water
without being seen in their outfits. She goes on to say that “we have certainly
come a long way since then, from practically wearing a house of 36 square feet , to wearing
about 36 square inches of fabric.” (Math is hard.) So yes, a 36 square inch
bikini would be pretty “itsy bitsy.” But just exactly how many square inches
does a bathing suit have to be in order for it to be modest? I have seen many,
many one-piece suits that are just as, if not more, immodest than a
two-piece. So who decides how much coverage is enough? Do we need to have a
panel of pastors rate each style on a scale of hell-bound to angelic?
Furthermore, I’m certain that there are men who are more
attracted to a girl in a one-piece. I’m not talking about a “I am attracted to
her dignity and self-respect” kind of thing, either. I mean they just think
one-piece suits are visually and sexually more appealing. “But Emma,” the
masses say, “this one-piece is covering up my extremely erotic belly button.”
Sorry, ladies. The world is full of all kinds of people and they all have
different desires.
And honestly, can we really say that any bathing suit
is modest? Let’s go with the popular “bikinis are the same thing as underwear!!
gasp” argument. Would you wear a
leotard and a microskirt to church? I don’t really think so. But that’s the
same amount of coverage that you’d get from what would probably be considered a
modest swimsuit. Even if I wore a wetsuit from knees to neck to elbows, it
would still reveal all my curves. I think it’s time to acknowledge the fact
that virtually all bathing suits are immodest, regardless of what
they’re called.
2) Modesty is a sacrifice that women make to protect men
Now hold on just one diddly darn minute. Rachel Clark talks
about this topic here, and it makes me want to have a quiet talk with her. I am
responsible only for my sin. If I wear a bikini despite clear
convictions that they’re not for me, I am accountable for that sin. If a man
lusts for my stellar bod (regardless of what I’m wearing), he is responsible
for his sin. And like I said earlier, some men may be just as stumbled by a
girl in a one-piece. There are even perverts and sexual deviants out there who
think random stuff is super hot. If I believed that my clothing makes me
responsible for the way men treat me, I would wear a burka and never leave the
house. I think this train of thought is particularly distressing because it’s
an easy step to justify sexual assault with “she was asking for it because she wore
a revealing outfit.” I cannot say it enough: how a woman dresses does not
make her culpable for someone else’s sin. The heart of modesty shouldn’t be about women doing men a favor
– it should be about honouring God and proclaiming His gospel. That being said,
we all are to help one another not to stumble. This applies to both genders
in every part of life, not just modesty.
3) Angels and Demons
Women’s modesty understandably generates a lot of discussion,
but therein lies a dangerous double-standard. Men are expected to lust. Women
are not. I don’t want to get into comparisons about who struggles more; I want
to suggest that men should consider their modesty, too. Many Christian girls
are conditioned as early as the womb that physical lust is such an unnatural,
heinous crime that they can barely even allude to it even under duress – but we
still experience it. Brett Harris talks a little more about men’s side of
modesty here.
4) Swimsuit-Shaming
Bathing suits, and modesty in general, are a really
hot-button topic. It’s easy to get defensive of one position or the other. One
side shouts, “Don’t be so old fashioned! Womyn can wear whatever they want and
be proud of their bodies.” The other side insists, “Have some self-respect! You
look like a French whore in that tiny thing.” (That was obviously a dramatic
reenactment.) No matter what our convictions about modesty are, we all need to
treat each other with understanding and love. So you’re a hardcore one-piece
girl; that’s awesome, but it doesn’t automatically make you more virtuous than
the girl across the pool in a bikini.
5) In Conclusion
I’m not even going to tell you whether I wear a bikini or a
one-piece, because that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I honestly believe
that the modesty difference between the two is marginal. What we must remember
about modesty is that as Christians, we have direct access to the Holy Spirit. God
convicts our hearts individually! Instead of turning modesty into a legalistic analysis
of how many square inches an item is, we need to approach it with a spirit of
humility and gentleness. Modesty is much more about our heart attitude than how
awesome we look in something.
